Almost ThereSo I had food poisoning on Saturday morning. It pretty much sucked. Let's see... I puked, then had the runs, then I puked, then the runs again, puked again, then a "see last night's supper" bonus, runs, puke, runs. Then came the stomach cramps... Shit.
After the
nth round
(I tried to count and I lost count), much of the life that was invested in me was either puked or flushed down the toilet. This was serious! I needed medical attention!
Naturally, I fired up my computer. Went online and checked the university's clinic operating hours. 30 mins till lunch time. Knew that it was probably my last hope. If I miss this window, I would probably become one of those dry corpses roommates are meant to discover.
Took the uncelebrated but nevertheless all-important last minute puke-and-crap just in case, then I lowered myself unceremoniously down the stairs, dragged myself along the walkways and staggered up the food-poisoning/handicapped-unfriendly staircases to the university's doctor. All the while trying to disguise the extreme agony that my expression was conveying. It's not good to look like a "3rd World refugee who hasn't eaten in weeks and looks as if he were about to drop dead any moment" in front of your schoolmates regardless of how stupid and idiotic you think they are.
Popped into the clinic. Went to register. Picked up the form and mustering all the remaining strength I had to my left-hand, I filled it up. Thanking the gods it was Saturday and there were only 2 people ahead of me, I slid up to the nearest couch and dropped like a sack onto it. Started to get slightly delirious and suddenly, my mind was flooded with random objects and thoughts. Surprisingly, some were pretty bright ideas, others a little wacky and man, some got really wierd. I am proud to say that computers made their appearances more than once.
Finally it beeped my queue number. Again, dragged myself unceremoniously through the hallway to my saviour. Went in and announced that I had food poisoning. My saviour then prescribed holy pills to me and told me I had to eat the holy porridge for the next 3 days to attain holy enlightenment. Thanked my saviour and promptly exited from his humble abode. 3 days of holy porridge to holy enlightenment. Holy my ass...
Went to the pharmacist to collect my medicine.
"This is for the vomiting, this is for the stomach cramps and this is for the diarrhoea. Six dollars please." She said.
I paid up and then continued to stare blankly at the three separate packages laid out in front of me. When you have just spent the whole morning puking and crapping, your inteligence and memory really take a hit. I probably had the IQ of a chimpanzee and have you heard of "10 second Jim"? Sensing how lost I looked, she promptly reiterated what the three packages were for. Not realising how stupid I looked, I repeated it to myself and smiling idiotically to myself, I packed 'em into my backpack.
Popped the pills rightaway. The hell with "Before food / After food".
Informed my friends I was gonna skip class today, went to buy fruits in the nearest canteen
(holy porridge is only served in the holy North Spine, no way I was gonna make it there alive in my present unholy state), and staggered hand-over-hand on the railing up to my room. G
oogled for foods to eat while recovering from food poisoning. Fruits were on the "avoid" list. Couldn't believe my eyes. No fruits? Decided to just take the watermelon in the end. Tried commiting the list to my flagging memory. Dropped like a bomb onto my bed. Curled up a like prawn, all the while wishing I had a blanket to cover myself with(I do not use a pillow and I forgot my blanket, when I say bed, I really mean just a bed).
Puke, Zzz, runs, Zzz, runs, Zzz...
continued...The Sad Song Of My Roommate's Pain
